December 5, 2008

So I’ve been going more often to church and it’s been amazing getting to know Pastor Jason, the other youth group kids, and stuff. Sometimes we just goof around and have fun but sometimes we get serious too (although it’s hard because people are afraid of getting serious and sharing). I don’t know – I’ve been starting to really like youth group, but it’s been hard too I’ve been reading more books about how Christianity is defensible through history and other arguments. It’s been making me think a lot about when I said I believed before the retreat…I said I was a Christian because I went to church and stuff but did I actually believe in God? Not really. And isn’t that where a lot of people are too? I know I’m liked by a lot of people, mostly because I can beat-box and stuff like I did at the talent show, but I want to be outspoken about my new faith and what I believe. My pastor gave a sermon series called “Heart Motives” and it talked about how people have different motivations for doing things. I realized that I do a lot of things because I want to be popular and liked by a lot of people. It’s not a good thing. Well, I guess if I am outspoken about my faith, I might NOT be liked by a lot of people.

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John’s search for a reasonable explanation or defense of the Christian religion shows that he is in Piaget’s formal operations stage; he is able to logically think about the abstract. John also continues to examine who he is, including his motivations and desires.

John also knows that a lot of people like him. During the interview, he mentioned that he is a pretty unique person – very different from his peers – but also held in high regard by them. He liked being unique, different, and independent. I feel that this signifies that he successfully completed the industry versus inferiority stage in Erikson’s model. In this stage, peers are a key factor for the child to master certain social skills. “If sufficiently industrious, children acquire the social and academic skills to feel self-assured”(Schaffer and Kip, p. 45). This self-assurance is exactly what John displays; it also can be termed as self-esteem. Schaffer and Kip further investigates self-esteem in chapter 12, in which it becomes clear that parents and peers can influence one’s self-esteem. Because John has a high level of self-esteem, John probably has a secure attachment with at least one of his parents. John’s ability to beat-box has also won his peers’ approval.

October 28, 2008

Wow, I suck at writing in this thing. Ah well, it’s still nice to have a place where I can write down my thoughts. Lots happened this summer. I went to the Canaan church retreat. I know, I know, I’ve been going since I was really little so what’s the big deal, right? WRONG. This retreat was the youth group retreat – my first one since now I’m officially in seventh grade. It was a little weird to be there with all these high school kids and stuff too, but they were cool, and kind of just left us alone. The retreat was really awesome though…I can’t explain it or describe it but for some reason, I just really started crying the last night of praise and prayer and then after all the crying I felt so, so peaceful. The pastor said that it was the power of God. It’s a little scary because I’ve never thought much about God. Every Sunday I came to church because my parents were going and made me go. Last year, I even just went to my friend’s house to play during the service because I didn’t want to go. Now, I don’t know. Everything’s changed. If God is real then I want to know him. So I want to go to church every week and even on Fridays. I want God to be one of my passions.

Mom’s making me go to Korean school on Saturdays again…gross! And she’s making me continue my guitar lessons even though I don’t want to.

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John described his experience at his 7^th grade church youth group retreat to be the pivotal turning point in him taking his religion more seriously. He described having a religious experience that, in my view, reoriented his views towards religion and life. This is points to Piaget’s process of how children grow intellectually. According to Piaget, an experience that goes against one’s previously held beliefs, or a disequilibrium, causes either assimilation (interpretation of the experience according to one’s views) or accommodation (the reforming of one’s views to accommodate the experience). John’s experience disrupted his previously held notion that church was unimportant and he accommodated his view by changing his actions.

John is also showing the beginning signs of asking questions like “Who am I?” He is questioning what it means to be a Christian and whether or not he is one. This mimics Erikson’s stage of identity versus role confusion. According to Erikson’s theories, in order for him to resolve the crisis in this stage, he must have successfully resolved the crisis in the previous stages – this will also be analyzed through the later entries.

June 2, 2008

I’m bored. I even wish Susie or Jessie was here so that we could play. It kind of sucks having sisters so much older than me because when they’re off in school, I’m here all alone with just mom and dad. So I thought I’d start this private blog – I already have a facebook page.

Finally, the school year’s almost over…strange, I thought in the beginning of the year that sixth grade would be so tough. Well, I mean it was really different from elementary school. Except for the fact that the school still gave us all macs. Sweeeet! I would have died without one since they gave them to us in fifth grade too. Anyways, now it’s summer and next year will be the seventh grade. I hope I have some good teachers next year. Mr. Roh was pretty cool.

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John’s family is unique because he is 12 years younger than his two older sisters who are twins. Thus, he described his childhood as almost growing up as an only child with only his parents and himself at the dinner table when his sisters went off to college. In addition to being the “baby” of the family, he is also the only boy, which might have led to his parents being more lenient towards him. The family dynamic is especially important to understand a person because of Bronfenbrenner’s theory that the environment surrounding a person consists of interacting contexts, including the family, school, church, and neighborhood. John’s school district also gave each of its fifth through eighth graders a mac laptop. Obviously, the school is extremely affluent. Such an environment surely also affects John’s development, although it does not necessitate an environmental determinism.