So Tim and I have been talking a lot and he’s been showing me a lot of awesome bands. He introduced me to the Red Hot Chili Peppers the other day and I absolutely love them. Tim pointed out that I need to really listen to the lyrics and when I did I could really relate to them. Especially the song “Can’t Stop” or the “Otherside.” Tim understands why I like beat-boxing because sometimes I get lost in the beat and when he’s playing, he love getting lost in the song too. I tried playing the drums and Mrs. Meyers, the music teacher from school, taught me the few beats she knows on it. I guess I picked it up pretty quickly because she’s pretty impressed. Maybe I will talk to my parents about getting me a drum set.
Youth group is going okay. I’ve noticed that I’m starting to care more about the people there. It’s good to have fun and hang out but I want to go deeper in the relationships I have with my friends there. I can tell from some of their facebook statuses that, wow, their week was pretty tough and I don’t want them to have to put on a face at youth group. People should feel comfortable sharing it with someone or they should just know that someone cares about them. I’ve been trying to be more intentional, asking if someone is okay, or asking “how are you doing” and not just expecting the same old answer. And I’ve been asking if people have prayer requests. I don’t know, I really care about people. And some just have really big things going on in their lives.
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Empathy is an essential quality that needs to be gained early in childhood (Stern). John demonstrates that he has indeed gained this ability through his care and concern towards other peers at his youth group. He also shows a certain level of emotional (and musical) intelligence. During the interview, John stated that the reason why he was able to love something was because he was able to relate. He is able to relate to the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ songs and lyrics and feels like he knows them. He is also able to relate to his friends at youth group.
John also mentioned that the Red Hot Chili Peppers were his role models in terms of music. He wants his own music to echo theirs. In this way, I find that he is participating in observational learning, not perhaps in the behavior of the band members, but in their musical playing and style. He also obviously learned about music and musical styles by observing and interacting with Tim. Tim’s deep appreciation for music became his own. Mrs. Meyers’ praise reinforces his love of music; it acts as a reward for his initiative, passion, and hard work.
To a certain extent, John is also discovering altruism by being a kind listener. According to evolutionary theorists, humans have evolved into altruistic beings because of the benefit that comes from being able to live in harmony. Behaviorists, however, might say that John was conditioned to be altruistic in his childhood.
According to Greenspan, affection is an important part of learning. Since he feels such an affective connection with music, he is able to spend a lot of time and energy learning the drums quickly. John’s confidence in picking up the new instrument is also indicative of successful management in Erikson’s autonomy versus shame and doubt stage. He does not doubt his abilities to try new things.
August 26, 2009
I met this guy at Korean school. Well, not really “meet” because he also goes to my church and school with me and I’ve seen him around for awhile now. Anyways, we started talking and he’s pretty cool. He plays the guitar and when I told him I took classical guitar lessons, we started talking. He told me he really loves music. I told him I’ve been wanting to quit the guitar and he just said I need to find an instrument that speaks to me, you know? An instrument that is more suited towards me or something that I can get really passionate about. He suggested the drums because he knows I beat-box (the school talent show) and knows I’ve got rhythm. I said didn’t own drums and wouldn’t be able to try it out or practice but he said that the school has a set – cool, huh? I don’t know, we’ll see what happens. I guess there’s no harm in trying it out when school starts again.
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Peers are a big part of an adolescent's life. We see from this that John's new friend Tim is able to influence him to pursue music. This can be a form of observational learning.
May 21, 2009
Asian parents! No, KOREAN parents! Sometimes all they care about is image. They want their son to be a doctor or a lawyer just so that they can brag to their friends about their status. But I don’t KNOW if I want to be a doctor or a lawyer. I know both of my sisters are pharmacists and they’ve “made it” but I don’t know if I will or if I even want to go that route. I know deep down that they just want me to be happy, and they want me to want to be something and then to go out and be that. But I don’t know yet what I want to be and I think that scares them. Does that make sense?
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John was not mad during the interview. However, he did state rather blithely that his parents, like all Korean parents, care a lot about image, which translates to wanting their children to have high-paying, high-status jobs like a doctor or a lawyer. He mentioned that his sisters had accomplished this by becoming pharmacists. But John does not want to go this route. Vygotsky’s socio-cultural theory dictates that values are passed on from generation to generation. It’s clear here, that John is operating more on an American culture where the individual’s desire is emphasized. This is probably a struggle that has yet to fully play out in John’s life.
February 11, 2009
A lot of people at school are atheists, or they say that they’re atheists because they don’t want to be grouped with Christians. I can understand because Christians have a bad rep. A lot of people say that Christians are hypocrites, and we probably to a certain extent are. Being a Christian comes with a lot of baggage…you have to be against abortion and gay marriages. At least that’s how I feel now that I am a Christian. I feel a little forced to take a specific position on these issues.
I’ve been talking more to Mr. Roh though at school. He’s this history teacher who – get this – used to dorm with my pastor at U of I. He’s Korean too and he’s just pretty approachable. I’ve been asking why he chose to be a teacher, what Pastor Jason was like in college, stuff like that. I know Mr. Roh’s a Christian too so I kind of want to ask about his thoughts on some of these things…I’m not sure if I will though.
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This entry significantly points to John struggling through who he is based on his stances on particular issues like abortion and gay marriage. In the interview, he stated that he felt forced to take specific (and often unpopular) stances on these issues because he was a Christian. In addition, he finds comfort in talking with Mr. Roh, someone who is also Korean, Christian, and in his school’s context. This shows the interaction between John's school and home culture, which is part of the mesosystem in Bronfenbrenner's ecological model.
December 5, 2008
So I’ve been going more often to church and it’s been amazing getting to know Pastor Jason, the other youth group kids, and stuff. Sometimes we just goof around and have fun but sometimes we get serious too (although it’s hard because people are afraid of getting serious and sharing). I don’t know – I’ve been starting to really like youth group, but it’s been hard too I’ve been reading more books about how Christianity is defensible through history and other arguments. It’s been making me think a lot about when I said I believed before the retreat…I said I was a Christian because I went to church and stuff but did I actually believe in God? Not really. And isn’t that where a lot of people are too? I know I’m liked by a lot of people, mostly because I can beat-box and stuff like I did at the talent show, but I want to be outspoken about my new faith and what I believe. My pastor gave a sermon series called “Heart Motives” and it talked about how people have different motivations for doing things. I realized that I do a lot of things because I want to be popular and liked by a lot of people. It’s not a good thing. Well, I guess if I am outspoken about my faith, I might NOT be liked by a lot of people.
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John’s search for a reasonable explanation or defense of the Christian religion shows that he is in Piaget’s formal operations stage; he is able to logically think about the abstract. John also continues to examine who he is, including his motivations and desires.
John also knows that a lot of people like him. During the interview, he mentioned that he is a pretty unique person – very different from his peers – but also held in high regard by them. He liked being unique, different, and independent. I feel that this signifies that he successfully completed the industry versus inferiority stage in Erikson’s model. In this stage, peers are a key factor for the child to master certain social skills. “If sufficiently industrious, children acquire the social and academic skills to feel self-assured”(Schaffer and Kip, p. 45). This self-assurance is exactly what John displays; it also can be termed as self-esteem. Schaffer and Kip further investigates self-esteem in chapter 12, in which it becomes clear that parents and peers can influence one’s self-esteem. Because John has a high level of self-esteem, John probably has a secure attachment with at least one of his parents. John’s ability to beat-box has also won his peers’ approval.
October 28, 2008
Wow, I suck at writing in this thing. Ah well, it’s still nice to have a place where I can write down my thoughts. Lots happened this summer. I went to the Canaan church retreat. I know, I know, I’ve been going since I was really little so what’s the big deal, right? WRONG. This retreat was the youth group retreat – my first one since now I’m officially in seventh grade. It was a little weird to be there with all these high school kids and stuff too, but they were cool, and kind of just left us alone. The retreat was really awesome though…I can’t explain it or describe it but for some reason, I just really started crying the last night of praise and prayer and then after all the crying I felt so, so peaceful. The pastor said that it was the power of God. It’s a little scary because I’ve never thought much about God. Every Sunday I came to church because my parents were going and made me go. Last year, I even just went to my friend’s house to play during the service because I didn’t want to go. Now, I don’t know. Everything’s changed. If God is real then I want to know him. So I want to go to church every week and even on Fridays. I want God to be one of my passions.
Mom’s making me go to Korean school on Saturdays again…gross! And she’s making me continue my guitar lessons even though I don’t want to.
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John described his experience at his 7th grade church youth group retreat to be the pivotal turning point in him taking his religion more seriously. He described having a religious experience that, in my view, reoriented his views towards religion and life. This is points to Piaget’s process of how children grow intellectually. According to Piaget, an experience that goes against one’s previously held beliefs, or a disequilibrium, causes either assimilation (interpretation of the experience according to one’s views) or accommodation (the reforming of one’s views to accommodate the experience). John’s experience disrupted his previously held notion that church was unimportant and he accommodated his view by changing his actions.
John is also showing the beginning signs of asking questions like “Who am I?” He is questioning what it means to be a Christian and whether or not he is one. This mimics Erikson’s stage of identity versus role confusion. According to Erikson’s theories, in order for him to resolve the crisis in this stage, he must have successfully resolved the crisis in the previous stages – this will also be analyzed through the later entries.
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